Inside Television 576
Publication Date: 10-28-11
By: Hubert O’Hearn
Why Women are Forced to Lie
Let me ask you something. Have you ever lied about your age? Answer that question honestly to yourself. Maybe you were the tall kid who was sent into the beer store at age 17 with enough flop sweat pouring down your face to water a golf course. Or maybe in a dateless and desperate time (there actually once was, briefly, a game show called Dateless and Desperate) you snipped just a little off the top and sides of the old birth year while filling in that on-line profile.
Now here’s the tougher question. If you answered yes to the first - Why? Really now, why would you do that, other than to get beer or enlist early so you could go and kill Hitler? For any social reason, it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. You are you. You’re stuck with you. You can neither have more memories and experiences than what you’ve had, or less of either. You are the mental and physical composite of all that you have done or has been done to you.
And yet, millions of people allow a number to determine their worth. Birthdays are accompanied by quite specific sounds. At 5, it’s the high-pitched vibrating fart of a blow tickler. at 20, it’s the pop and fizz of a first bottle of decent champagne. At 40 it’s the beep beep beep of a dump truck backing into your driveway waiting to haul you off to the landfill along with three dented hubcaps, two priceless comic books your Mom accidentally tossed out, and a CD of Rick Astley’s Greatest Hit. Yes indeed, you are now a package of meat with a $2.00 Off coupon slapped across your face. And I do mean slapped.
I hope you’ve had a decent chuckle or two so far. Our duty here is to entertain as well as inform. There is however a quite serious point to all this. For you, hitting 40 means that the 22 year olds no longer find you attractive. (Guess what? They weren’t all hot and bothered when you were 26 either. Sorry to break it to you like this in public.) For women, particularly women who are actresses, 40 is the date of execution for their careers.
Perhaps you think I’m exaggerating. Fair enough; I’ve been known to pucker up to Blarney once or twice in my life. So let’s do a quick test. Think about movies and TV. How many women can you think of with current leading or major supporting roles who are in their 20s and 30s? Don’t start writing them down, we haven’t got all day here. Now how many can you name of similar working status over the age of 40? Besides Helen Mirren. Okay, besides Helen Mirren and Judi Dench. Besides Helen Mirren, Judi Dench , Meryl Streep and that other one. You know who I mean. She was in the thing that was out last year. You know. That show. we all watched it. everybody loved it until it was canceled. How old’s Kate Winslet now? (She’s 36. the clock is ticking.)
There is a lawsuit working its way through the courts in the U.S. right now. Several actresses have banded together to file a class action suit against the Google-owned imdb.com - the Internet Movie Database. They each had individually requested that imdb not list their dates of birth because being known as plus 40 in age (although curiously not in breast size) meant that the work dried up.
To get the real inside story I asked my friend Lydia Cornell for her take on the subject. The former star of Too Close for Comfort, Curb Your Enthusiasm and several new films is the perfect industry informant and friend: honest, smart, funny and willing to be quoted. Her sharp and witty blog can be found at http://LydiaCornell.com .
So what is the truth about over-40 actresses Lydia? "George Clooney and Michelle Pfeiffer are the same age, but on magazine covers, HE gets to have crows' feet and gray hair while she has every line air-brushed out of her face. And she's still not working.” Ouch.
Publication Date: 10-28-11
By: Hubert O’Hearn
Why Women are Forced to Lie
Let me ask you something. Have you ever lied about your age? Answer that question honestly to yourself. Maybe you were the tall kid who was sent into the beer store at age 17 with enough flop sweat pouring down your face to water a golf course. Or maybe in a dateless and desperate time (there actually once was, briefly, a game show called Dateless and Desperate) you snipped just a little off the top and sides of the old birth year while filling in that on-line profile.
Now here’s the tougher question. If you answered yes to the first - Why? Really now, why would you do that, other than to get beer or enlist early so you could go and kill Hitler? For any social reason, it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. You are you. You’re stuck with you. You can neither have more memories and experiences than what you’ve had, or less of either. You are the mental and physical composite of all that you have done or has been done to you.
And yet, millions of people allow a number to determine their worth. Birthdays are accompanied by quite specific sounds. At 5, it’s the high-pitched vibrating fart of a blow tickler. at 20, it’s the pop and fizz of a first bottle of decent champagne. At 40 it’s the beep beep beep of a dump truck backing into your driveway waiting to haul you off to the landfill along with three dented hubcaps, two priceless comic books your Mom accidentally tossed out, and a CD of Rick Astley’s Greatest Hit. Yes indeed, you are now a package of meat with a $2.00 Off coupon slapped across your face. And I do mean slapped.
I hope you’ve had a decent chuckle or two so far. Our duty here is to entertain as well as inform. There is however a quite serious point to all this. For you, hitting 40 means that the 22 year olds no longer find you attractive. (Guess what? They weren’t all hot and bothered when you were 26 either. Sorry to break it to you like this in public.) For women, particularly women who are actresses, 40 is the date of execution for their careers.
Perhaps you think I’m exaggerating. Fair enough; I’ve been known to pucker up to Blarney once or twice in my life. So let’s do a quick test. Think about movies and TV. How many women can you think of with current leading or major supporting roles who are in their 20s and 30s? Don’t start writing them down, we haven’t got all day here. Now how many can you name of similar working status over the age of 40? Besides Helen Mirren. Okay, besides Helen Mirren and Judi Dench. Besides Helen Mirren, Judi Dench , Meryl Streep and that other one. You know who I mean. She was in the thing that was out last year. You know. That show. we all watched it. everybody loved it until it was canceled. How old’s Kate Winslet now? (She’s 36. the clock is ticking.)
There is a lawsuit working its way through the courts in the U.S. right now. Several actresses have banded together to file a class action suit against the Google-owned imdb.com - the Internet Movie Database. They each had individually requested that imdb not list their dates of birth because being known as plus 40 in age (although curiously not in breast size) meant that the work dried up.
To get the real inside story I asked my friend Lydia Cornell for her take on the subject. The former star of Too Close for Comfort, Curb Your Enthusiasm and several new films is the perfect industry informant and friend: honest, smart, funny and willing to be quoted. Her sharp and witty blog can be found at http://LydiaCornell.com .
So what is the truth about over-40 actresses Lydia? "George Clooney and Michelle Pfeiffer are the same age, but on magazine covers, HE gets to have crows' feet and gray hair while she has every line air-brushed out of her face. And she's still not working.” Ouch.
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| George Clooney...literally acting his age |
Let me toss some names at you of some very beautiful, very talented women: Michelle Pfeiffer, Jessica Lange, Terri Garr, Theresa Russell, Debra Winger. There’s five off the top of my head. Now you tell me when the last time was you saw any of them on a big or small screen.
Much more to be said on this subject on another day. For now though the prosecution rests, even if the persecution continues. Be seeing you.
