Super Bowl! Brought to you by Budweiser's NFL!

Inside Television 539

Publication date: 2-5-11

By: Hubert O'Hearn

Even isopods love Doritos and football! 

As much as I've enjoyed writing for newspapers for 15 years now, there are moments that lead me to shudder under the a blanket pulled tight over my head. The Sunday's Super Bowl brings one to mind.

Eight years ago, the upstart Tampa Bay Bucs played the cagey veteran Oakland Raiders. A good friend at the Chronicle-Journal (who is still there and will not be placed subject to further embarrassment) asked me for help in making his pick in the office pool. No problem. Those cagey old vets know how to win, I said. They'll stay calm, focused, and will give the Bucs a righteous beating.

Your final score: Tampa Bay 48 – 21 Oakland.

Frankly, the only time one has a sure bet in a Super Bowl is when absolutely everyone picks one side – then take the underdog. The golden pick was the Giants against the New Arrogance, er, England Patriots a few years ago. But there's no such Goliath ready to tumble this year. Steelers – Packers. The Pros Who Knows are unsure what to do with a shaky betting line of 2.5 points with the advantage going to Green Bay.

I tend to think that a smarter bet is Julian Assange addressing a Joint Session of Congress than either of this year's teams. The Packers can't run the ball and have an odd habit of piling up great stats but not able to kill off games by converting them into points. And Pittsburgh really should hand out red capes and those funny little matador hats to their offensive line every time Ben (no charges were laid) Roethlisberger goes back to pass. And that was before their starting center went down with leg knack.

It could get ugly or it could get beautiful. If the game – which I am positive will end up as Most Watched Ever after the AFC Championship drew 56 million viewers in the U.S. - resembles the season, ugliness will rule.

Budweiser's NFL and their TV partners are trying to cast this season as The Year of Redemption. Hence Roethlisberger (there were no charges laid) has been coached to be as cheerful as a department store Santa – Grampa beard and all! - and I think they've hidden head-hunting linebacker James Harrison in a locker or something. Ancient franchises – redemption! Aaron Rodgers as the new Phoenix to Brett Favre's burnt bird – redemption! Yes, GoDaddy's NFL would have you believe that this season has all been about love, dreams, Mom, and cute little puppies. And, um, Michael Vick.

What Chevrolet's NFL doesn't want you noticing is that this has been more the year of the cataclysmic injury with wide receivers regularly run under CT scans checking for brain injuries. In fact, one curiousity is that the Packers have 16 – 16! - players on injured reserve. Bizarrely, this has worked in their favour as the replacements may not be as talented but they are certainly healthier and fresher than their opponents. Maybe the trick for success in FedEx's NFL is to shoot all your starters except the quarterback round about week eight and bring in the scout team.

Mike Lupica said a few weeks ago that the best thing about being a pundit is that no one ever remembers who you picked once the game is done. So even though I'm not putting a single dime on this game, I see it as lower-scoring than most expect. The over/under number is 44 and that under is looking pretty sparkly to me. Pittsburgh 21 – Green Bay 20. Enjoy Dorito's NFL title game and pass the Pepsi. Be seeing you.